Two fangirls and Akatsuki
by Bri Nara
Summary: The sequel to "What would happen if fangirls were in Naruto", when two fangirls must enter the Akatsuki. What will happen? Will the Akatsuki go crazy?
1. Part of a mission

**Bri Nara Production**

_This is one sequel to the "What would happen if fangirls were in Naruto" fanfic. Me and my cousin Suka work our comedy gold with the Akatsuki! Brace yourselves, we're going in! I may have switched some facts and times around, but all for the sake of the fangirls._

"Tsunade, what kind of mission is this?" demanded the brown-haired girl.

"Do you have a _problem _with it?!" asked the Hokage in voice that would have made any other ninja start crying. The black-haired girl hid behind her cousin, who was almost unmoved by Tsunade's yelling.

The girl just shrugged. "Well, it's just that they won't make a move for another two years. It would be stupid to trigger them now."

"Yes, but we don't know what they're planning. And Sandy told me you had information on them, Bri!"

Bri had a finger in her ear, which did not protect her from the full effect of Tsunade's yelling. "So, Sandy ratted us out. Remind me to get _her _stuck in a stupid mission like this later."

"_This is no time for jokes, BRI NARA! I want you out of my office in the next five seconds or you're going to get it!_"

Bri put a hand in her pocket and looked like she couldn't care less.

"_FIVE!_"

Her cousin, Suka, ran towards the door and flung it open.

"_FOUR!_"

Shizune ducked her head behind the little piggy she was holding.

"_THREE!_"

Bri continued to look at Tsunade, with a bored look that remotely said _Hit me with you best shot, Grandma._

"_TWO!_"

Tsunade stood up and grabbed the corner of her desk.

"_ONE!_"

Suka grabbed Bri's ponytail and flew out of the room. "Hey! What the-?" Suka closed the door right before the desk hit it.

It was Suka's turn to start yelling. "_You can't be doing stupid stuff like that! You could've been killed!_"

"You've obviously never seen Shika's mom in the morning, she's _way _worse than that."

Suka grabbed Bri's ponytail again. "Come on, let's get this mission started."

"OW!"

**...**

"This is stupid. This will never work."

"Just wait for them."

Two men wearing black cloaks with red clouds were walking right by Bri and Suka's hiding spot. One of the was short with dark hair. The other one was tall with the yellow hair that would put Naruto's to shame. The blonde one only had one blue eye visible.

"Heh. Got you," Bri whispered. "Shadow Possession Jutsu!"

Bri's thick black shadow strectched out and connected with the two Akatsuki members. "Now, Suka!" Suka jumped out and used the Gentlefist she learned from Neji on the short one. The short Akatsuki broke, revealing a young man with red hair. Suka then, tied them up in a rope.

Bri grinned down at their prisoners. "Look who we caught, cousin. Deidara and Sasori of Akatsuki."

"OH MY GOD! SASORI-KUN!" Suka had hearts in her eyes as she jumped onto the tied up bundle of Akatsuki members. "DEIDARA-KUN! LIKE, I LOVE YOU TWO! YOU ARE SO AWESOME!" She went so far as to kiss the red-head's cheek. His eyes widened.

"How do you know our names, un?" asked the bright blonde, Deidara.

"'Cause we're fangirls!" said the hyper girl in Sasori's lap.

"We know _everything_!" Bri said in a creepy tone. She pointed at Deidara, "ex-terrorist bomber," then at Sasori, "Chiyo's grandson, and puppetmaster."

"Hm, she seems to know about us, brat," said Sasori to his partner.

"Will you let us join Akatsuki?" Suka begged Deidara with puppy eyes.

"What, un?! Why should we, un?"

"Because I have this." Bri held up a picture of Deidara and Sasori hugging each other. (I got it off the internet, sorry but I had to go to drastic measures.)

The Akatsuki faces turned the brightest shade of pink. "Uh, we didn't really do that, un. Right, danna, un?"

"Let us join Akatsuki, or we show this to the Five Great Nations."

"You wouldn't dare..." said Sasori.

"I would. Let us join or we do that, _and _you face the wrath of Suka's glomping power!"

"Suka style: Fangirl Glomp Jutsu!" Suka gave Sasori the biggest and most deadly hug in the history of the Naruto world.

"Don't let her in, danna, un!"

Then there was a very loud _crack._ Sasori's arm had a very big crack by the elbow. "Okay, you're in. Just let go of me!"

"You won't get me that easily, un."

Bri went to the little pouch on Deidara's hip. She dug in there until she pulled out a wad of clay. She made it into a very tiny bird and dropped it in front of Deidara. She made a handsign. "Don't make me do it."

"You don't know how to, un."

"I told you, we know _everything_." She cleared her throat. "Katsu, un," Bri said in a very good impression of Deidara. The bird Bri made exploded with a small puff of smoke. "And that was just a little bird."

"Ok, un! You're in, just untie us already, un!"


	2. Entering Akatsuki

_For the sake of the rating, most swear words have been... um, censored. So most words spoken by Hidan will look like this, ____. Sorry, but Bri Nara doesn't cuss. But Suka is begging me to take the censor off._

"Suka, why do we have to be Akatsuki members again?" whispered Bri to her cousin on their way to the base.

"It's part of the mission and you know I'm in love with at least half of them!" Suka whispered back.

"But _I'm _not! You know what happens in every Akatsuki-fangirl fanfic! I don't want to end up liking Hidan the... um..."

"B_____?"

"Cousin! Watch your language! If you're gonna cuss, then use Hidan instead, like I do!" (Or try to do.) "And yes, he's what you said."

"But he's hot!"

Bri had on a disgusted face. "_Ewww! _You like that dirty-mouthed zombie?!"

"No, I only think he's a hot b_____!"

"How the Hidan are we related?" Bri's eye twitched. (As you can see, I hate Hidan. You Shippuuden fans who know who my favorite character is, can guess why.)

"You two," said Deidara up ahead, "stop whispering, un! We're here, un!"

Bri and Suka looked around, all they saw was a big rock. "We don't seem to be anywhere, Deidara-sempai," said Bri.

Sasori looked like he was going to laugh when he saw the look on Deidara's face. "Heh. _Sempai _she calls you. Just like Zetsu's assistant."

"You mean Tobi?" Suka asked.

"So you know his name too."

Bri dragged Suka away from Sasori and Deidara for a breif moment. "What the heck is going on?!" Bri whispered. "Tobi isn't supposed to be here yet! He's supposed to be here in Shippuuden!"

"Maybe we're speeding up the rate of the show by being here," Suka whispered back. (Now that I think about it, it _is _possible. O_o)

"_Or _Tobi worked for Zetsu two years before Shippuuden starts!"

Before they could continue, the big rock started moving. It rolled over, squishing at least ten trees in the process. When Bri and Suka looked inside, they saw a flash of orange heading for Deidara.

"SEMPAI!" It was Tobi, wearing dark clothes, saying something rapidly to Deidara.

"TOBI-KUN!" Suka had hearts in her eyes _again_ as she fan glomped Tobi. "Tobi-kun! You are my idol! I always wanted to be like you!" Then came out a fangirl scream.

"Help me, Deidara-sempai!"

Bri dragged Suka off of the now tramatized Tobi. "That was the scariest thing Tobi ever felt in his life..." said a small voice behind the orange mask.

"It's called a fan glomp. With Suka, that's her lethal weapon. Just ask Master Sasori."

Sasori showed Tobi his broken puppet arm. "She is incredibly strong. I'd stay away from her if I were you. Now, if Leader is in there-"

"PEIN?! EEEEKKKK!" Suka ran inside faster than humanly possible. Then there was the faint sound of "Pein-sama-kun!" and an "oof!"

**... Two hours later ...**

Bri and Hidan were working together to cuss out the leader of Akatsuki (Hidan doing the actually cussing, I was just saying the usual insults). Kisame, Suka, and the white half of Zetsu looked like they would die from laughter. Everyone else shared the stoic look that said "_What the heck?_"

"You can't be serious, Pein!"

"This is f___ing cruel!"

"You-"

"Expect me-"

"To work-"

"With this little-"

"B_____?"

"No way!"

"F___ no!"

"I refuse to work with this foul-mouthed zombie!"

"I'd die before I work with this ugly-a___ b____!"

"What did you call me, Hidan?!"

"I called you a b____!"

Then the debate versus Pein turned into a fist fight between Bri and Hidan. Suka and Zetsu laughed harder as Hidan threw away his scythe and tried to put Bri in a headlock. Bri bit Hidan (EW! He tatses awful! XP) and tried to twist his arm behind his back.

Then a hand seized Bri's throat and lifted her into the air. She tried to get the hand off, but the strong fingers wouldn't even move. Another hand grabbed Hidan's throat and lifted him up too.

"What the f___, Kakuzu?!"

"It was the only way to get you two to shut up," said the masked man. He dropped both of them.

Hidan and Bri looked at each other for a moment, then turned away with a pout on each of their faces. (OMG, little kid moment!)

"You are to work with them, Bri. Seeing that you and your friend cannot official become Akatsuki until one of us dies. You are going to assist Hidan and Kakuzu, while Suka assists Itachi and Kisame, understand?"

"_Yes!_" Bri said in a very loud sarcastic voice. "_Yes, _Leader Pein-in-my..."

Suka ran over covered Bri's mouth before the sentense was done. "She understands, Leader."


	3. Getting along with new teammates

**Bri's POV (Warning: Spoiler those who have not yet seen Shippuuden's Kakuzu and Hidan arc.)**

If you put Bri in a room alone with a killer frog, that would be torture. If you forced her to say something stupid in front of people, that would be torture. But _nothing _could possibly _compete _with being stuck _helping _her least favorite Naruto character.

Sure, Suka gets to hang out with one of her crushes. She gets to hang out with Dead-Eye and Sushi. But _Bri _gets stuck with the "Zombie Brothers." She hated the grey- haired nuisance, and the Old-Man creeped her out. So when Bri had to walk behind them during the walk to wherever Kakuzu's bounty was, it took every ounce of self-control not to run to the Leaf Village.

"Hey, Kakuzu," Bri said. "What bounty are you looking for anyway?"

"Why do you care, Bri___?" asked Hidan. (Just for those who don't get the joke, he just put the r in my name into the cuss word he was calling me before.)

"I was asking Kakuzu, not you, Hidan!"

"Both of you shut up," said Kakuzu. "Why can't you two get along for one minute?"

"This little Bri___ has been acting like I'm a piece of s___ from the moment she arrived! She keeps ticking me off for no reason!"

Bri looked to the ground and stopped. "I do have a reason, Hidan." Hidan stopped and looked at her for a moment. Bri looked into Hidan's eyes with a cool and hated-filled look in her eye (Just imagine Sasuke or Itachi's eyes). "In three years from now, you will do something unforgivable. In three years from now you will attack my friend's teacher. Then you will attempt to murder my friend. That is why I hate you, Hidan." Then Bri smirked and walked past the confused Jashinist. "Pity, if it weren't for that, I would actually ignore you dirty-mouth and tolerate you."

"What do you mean by that?" Bri just kept walking and laughed. "Tell me what the f___ do you mean by that?!"

**Suka's POV (Warning: Tiny spoiler for Hunt for Itachi arc)**

"Oh my god! Itachi-kun! You are so cool! So cool, so handsome, so strong! Way better than that b_____, Sasuke!" Suka said when she grouped up with Itachi and Kisame. Suka hugged Itachi like he was a teddy bear instead of a S-rank missing-nin. Kisame even responded a little when he was being completely ignored.

"What? No compliments for me?" said the sharp-toothed ninja. "What am I, invisible or something?"

Suka looked at Kisame without releasing Itachi from his hug. "No, you're not exactly my favorite Akatsuki member. And you're not invisible; it's just that Suigetsu-kun said he would serve you as shark-fin soup, so that's what I see you as."

"Ha. Suigetsu, eh? Remind me to put that kid in a cup later, Itachi."

The Uchiha looked at the girl hugging his waist. "Can you get off now?"

"No, Itachi-kun! And I know you can't threaten me because you're a good boy!"

Itachi looked at Suka right in the eye with the Sharingan. Suka froze and her hug loosened a little. "Get off." Suka, without noticing, obeyed Itachi.

"You have pretty eyes..." Suka said to the man glaring down at her.

Kisame laughed. "Wow, that's a first. 'You have pretty eyes' should be changed to 'You have deadly eyes.'"

**Sorry if this was too short. I couldn't think of something else to put. **


	4. The Game Akatsuki played

"Leader, please, may I be on a Deidara-sempai and Master Sasori's team?"

"Hey, I thought we agreed that neither of us gets to be with Deidara-kun!" whined Suka.

"But you're with your boyfriend Itachi. So this makes it even."

"No, it's not! They're the cutest team on Akatsuki!"

"Relax, I won't touch Master Sasori. I make no promises about Sempai though."

Pein watched as Bri and Suka bickered about whether or not Bri should be with Deidara. _I can't believe I'm admitting this, _thought Pein, _but they fight more than Hidan and Kakuzu. They might even give Deidara and Sasori a run for their money._

"Leader," Bri got down on her knees as Suka laughed. "Leader Pein, please let me be on Deidara and Sasori's team." Pein raised an eyebrow.

"Do you like Deidara _that _much?" asked Pein.

"No, but I hate Hidan this much."

"Get up. Show some dignity." Bri got back up and brushed whatever dust she got on her knees. "Seeing that you would go so far to avoid Hidan, I'll let you go be with Deidara and Sasori."

"What? You mean it? Thank you Nagato!" She went up to Pein and hugged him. (Yes, I was _that _happy to get away from Hidan. -_-)

"We should have a way to celebrate," said Suka.

"Really, how?" Bri asked. Pein didn't even care until he heard the way Suka said it.

"_Truth or dare..._" Pein noticed Bri look of wide-eyed terror.

"What's truth or dare?" Pein asked.

"A game."

"A horrible horrible game, Leader."

"Where you make someone tell a truth about themselves."

"Or do the worst dares possible."

Pein really had no idea who's opinion to follow on this. Bri made it sound like a punishment and Suka made it sound like a child's game. "I get the others."

**...**

So later, after Bri and Suka explained the rules, Bri started out the game. All the Akatsuki were sitting in a circle, even Tobi was there. Everyone was waiting for who Bri would chose.

"Hidan, truth or dare?"

"Dare me, Bri___."

"I dare you to..." she whispered the rest of the dare into his ear. From the look on his face, it said the dare was a special punishment.

"F___ no!"

"Remember, if you don't do the dare, then you suffer a worse punishment."

Hidan glared at Bri and mumbled "I'll do the f____ing dare."

Bri went into a dark hallway while Hidan stood up. A black shadow reached Hidan's feet. He grabbed his scythe and grabbed it like a microphone. Then random singing from the hallway was loud enough to hear. Hidan started dancing to it.

WOW!

I feel so good, da na da na na na na!

And I know that I would now, da na da na na na na!

I FEEEEL so GOOOD, da na da na na na na na!

And I know that I would now, na na na na na na na!

SO GOOD! DUN DUN! SO GOOD! DUN DUN!

DUN DUN, DUN DUN!

WOW!

During the entire song, Hidan was doing a mix between the bunnyhop and a hula. And at the end, he did a split. Suka was bent over from laughing. Everyone else was thinking _It sucks to be Hidan right now._

The shadow went away from Hidan but he remained in his painful split. Bri came back from the hallway with a very obvious limp. (I can't do a split either.) A sat down beside Hidan. Bri was grinning from ear to ear.

Hidan turned his head to glare at her. "I hate you so f___ing _much _right now."

"It's your turn to ask someone, Zombieboy."

"Kakuzu, truth or dare."

"Truth," Kakuzu said. "I don't want to end up like you."

"How many f___ing bounties have you caught instead of doing your f___ing mission?"

"I refuse to answer that."

Suka interrupted then. "Remember, do it or punishment. And for you, you have to give _everyone _here a split of your money."

Several people there, grinned. Bri and Kisame held out their hands to Kakuzu expectantly. "Pay up," they said together.

"Fine, I'll tell the truth. I lost count around 57. Now that it's my turn, Itachi, truth or dare."

"Truth," said Dead-Eye.

Kakuzu was about to say the accutually truth until he looked into Itachi's eyes. "Will it kill you to turn that stupid Sharingan off for one second?!"

"No." Itachi's eyes turned black. "Zetsu, truth or dare?"

**"Dare me," **said Zetsu's black side.

"I dare you to be hugged by Suka."

Zetsu looked at Sasori, remembering how his arm broke. Suka had a disgusted look on her face.

"Ew! Itachi-kun! I don't want to hug Zetsu! He's icky!" She glanced over at Zetsu. "No offense."

"None taken," said the white half.

"Just hug him, Suka."

Suka walked over to Zetsu. Suka and the black half of Zetsu looked annoyed, but the white half just looked surprised. Suka wrapped her arms around Zetsu for about a second, then ran back to her spot.

**"That was it? What a disapointment."**

"What happened, un? I didn't hear a crack, un."

"_Sure_," said Sasori. "You break _my _arm and Zetsu is still in one piece."

"But love hurts, Sasori-kun. This means I don't even like Zetsu. No offense."

"None taken. Kisame, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to stick your head in a fish tank and keep it there for five hours. To prove if you're a fish."

"But I'm human."

"_Riiiight,_" Suka, Bri, Hidan, white-Zetsu, Tobi, and Deidara said together.

Kisame dragged out a big fish tank and dunked his spiky head inside. A few bubbles came out of his mouth as he smiled at Bri.

"I'm not coming in there, Kisame."

Kisame looked at Deidara and grinned. He mouthed the words _Truth or Dare?_

"Dare, un."

Kisame pointed at Suka, and made a kissy face. Deidara's eye widened. Suka winked.

Deidara walked over to Suka a quickly kissed her forehead. But Suka wrapped her arms around Deidara's waist and elbows; and hugged him. _CRACK!_

"SUKA! YOU _BROKE _DEIDARA!" Bri pointed at the Akatsuki member who's arms were bending the wrong way.

"Ow...un. Suka, truth or dare?"

"Truth, Deidara-kun."

"How many people here do you like, un? I mean, break their freaking arms like, un."

Suka counted the people there. "Six." Almost every Akatsuki member's eyes widened in horror. Only Zetsu and Kisame knew that she didn't mean them.

"Bri-chan, truth or dare?"

(I'm gonna regret saying this.) "Dare."

"I dare you to..." Suka glanced between Hidan and Zetsu. "I dare you to hug Hidan and kiss Zetsu."

Hidan, Bri, and Zetsu all looked like Suka said their death sentense. Bri looked at Hidan, and Hidan looked at Bri.

"I f___ing hate you, Bri___."

"I know, Zombie."

Bri threw her arms around Hidan's neck for a second then walked over to Zetsu. Again, black-Zetsu was annoyed while the white-Zetsu was surprised.

"This means absolutely nothing, got it?"

Zetsu nodded. And Bri kissed Zetsu on the cheek. (I'm gonna need to wash my mouth ten times and live in the shower to get the Hidan-germs off. .)

Bri sat back in her spot. "Tobi, truth or dare?"

"Tobi pick dare."

Bri thought about making Tobi dance to _I'm walking on Sunshine_, then had a better idea. "I dare you to take your mask off."

Tobi shrugged. "Ok." Tobi grabbed the side of his mask. (Drum roll please!) He was about to take the right side off until the lights suddenly went out.

"NOOOOOOOOO, UN!"

"WHAT THE F___ HAPPENED TO THE LIGHTS?!"

"HIDAN! I REALLY WANTED TO SEE TOBI'S FACE!"

"Well, Tobi took the mask off. Tobi going to bed."

**Man, I really wanted to see Tobi's face. -_-"**

**Well, the 6 people Suka-sempai likes are:**

**Sasori, Deidara, Itachi, Tobi, Pein, and Hidan.**


	5. Ultimate Civil Prank War

The morning after Akatsuki truth or dare was tense. Deidara had his forearms wrapped in bandages because of Suka's deathhug. Hidan glared at Bri as she limped into the kitchen. Bri eyes were daggers as she looked at Suka. Everyone was quiet.

"Hey, Suka," said Bri, completely stabbing the silence. "I would like to thank you for the truth or dare last night. So I left a cake in the fridge for you."

"Really? Thanks Bri-chan." Suka walked over to the fridge. Bri and Deidara looked at each other by the corners of there eyes. They nodded when Suka pulled out a big pink cake.

"Did you make this, Bri?"

"You know I can't cook. Deidara-sempai helped me a little."

"Aw, thanks Deidara-kun." Suka brought the cake closer to her face.

Then Bri and Deidara made the same handsign. "Katsu, un."

_BOOM! _Suka was suddenly covered in frosting from the neck up. Bri and Deidara high-fived each other.

"DEIDARA YOU B______!"

"Hey, I thought you liked me, un."

"NOT RIGHT NOW, B_______!"

"Come on, you don't mean that, Suka. Deidara's _the bomb_."

Suka shook a fist at Deidara and Bri. "I'm going to get you for this."

**...**

Later when Bri was exhausted and wanted to go to bed, she walked into her room to see a nightmare. _Everything _was on the ceiling; the bed, the rug, the dresser, even a little Deidara rag doll was glued to the ceiling by its hair.

"That's it, this means war..."

**...**

Bri marched in front of her troops as they sat in a row. "Men, I have gathered you here today to inform you that the Akatsuki is in a civil prank war." Zetsu raised his hand. "Yes, Zetsu?"

"What's a civil prank war?"

"It's when a group split into two teams and pull pranks on each other."

"Do we have to pay for this war?" Kakuzu asked.

"Oh, we'll pay alright. Our dignity is on the line here!"

**"All because you and Deidara blew up a cake?"**

"Yup. And most likely she gathered followers. Hidan is probably on her side, and it looked like Sasori's puppet glue in my room."

"And _why _should we help you?" asked Kisame.

Bri looked Sushi right in the face. Kisame gulped.

"Oh, I don't know. I'm just worrying about what could happen if there were civilians in this war. I mean, I could only imagine you getting caught in the crossfire. Somebody ending up neck-deep in chocolate pudding."

Kakuzu, Kisame, and Zetsu looked at each other. "Better join, un," said Bri's second-in-command. "I could only imagine what might happen if Hidan really is involved, un."

"Fine," said Kisame, "we're in."

**...**

Zetsu walked out of his room in the morning to find Tobi. Tobi waved happily. "Good morning, Zetsu!"

"Good morning."

Tobi walked right past Zetsu's right side, then a minute later ran past his left.

"Oh! Tobi forgot! Tobi forgot something in Tobi's room!" Tobi ran into his room.

As Zetsu walked into the kitchen and past Hidan, there's where it began. Hidan looked at Zetsu pass him, then burst out laughing. Both halves of Zetsu's face looked confused.

**"What?" **But the Jashinist kept on laughing. **"What is it, idiot?" **Hidan kept on laughing.

Then Bri walked in, and barely managed to hold back a laugh. On the right venus flytrap thing (Zetsu's white-side) somebody wrote in white paint "Mr. Happy Sunshine." And as Zetsu turned around to talk to Bri, she saw that on the left side (Zetsu's black-side) somebody wrote in black paint "Mr. Crabbypants."

"Um...heh...Zetsu...somebody kinda wrote on the plant thing..."

"What did they write?"

Bri pointed at black-Zetsu. "They wrote for you 'Mr. Crabbypants.'" She pointed at white-Zetsu. "And for you, 'Mr. Happy Sunshine.'" Bri was surprised she could even say that with a straight face.

"Haha...It describes you well," white-Zetsu said.

**"Shut up."**

**...**

Tobi was walking down the hallway, on his way to his baked heaven. Suka baked cookies for Tobi because he's one of her favorite Akatsuki members (Or, soon-to-be Akatsuki member).

"Ah, Tobi like Suka's cookies. Tobi hopes it still there."

Tobi walked into the kitchen to see Sasori, with cookie crumbs on his face and a chocolate-chip cookie in his hand. Sasori looked at Tobi with his half-lidded eyes and said "Hello, Tobi."

"HEY! THAT'S TOBI'S COOKIE!!!" Tobi pointed an accusing finger at Sasori. Sasori cramped the cookie he had into his mouth and ran like there was no tommorrow.

The cookie-theif disappeared in the hallway just as the real Sasori was walking out of his room. Tobi ran down the hallway and tackled Sasori (I'm talking about a freaking American football tackle).

"TOBI?! WHAT THE-?!"

"GIVE TOBI BACK TOBI'S COOKIE!"

In Kisame's room, Bri and Kisame were listening to Tobi beat the crap out of Sasori. Kisame laughed and wiped the cookie crumps off his mouth.

"Nice work, Sushi."

"Thanks, Bri."

**...**

"AHHHHHHHH!"

"Kakuzu! What's wrong?" Zetsu asked.

"Someone put a genjutsu on my room! Burning money, all my bounties running free! It was horrible!"

**"Itachi."**

That night when Itachi closed his eyes to go to sleep, a horrifying sound reached his ears.

"I love you, you love me.

We're a happy faamiily.

With a great big hug,

And a kiss from me to you.

Won't you say you love me too?

(Special Bri made verse =D)

We all know, you love Sasuke too.

He's the reason that you're blue.

And way deep down,

Your baby bro loves you too.

Itachi, admit it, you love him too."

Itachi opened his eyes and snapped up in his bed. "What the-?!" The singing stopped. He leaned back in his bed and closed his eyes. The singing started again. For the entire night, every time Itachi closed his eyes, the Barney song would start. (Isn't this horrifying, peoples? XD)

What Itachi didn't know was that Zetsu was watching him, giving Bri the signal to start the song every time Itachi's eyes were closed. Zetsu left around three in the morning when Bri fell asleep under Itachi's bed.

When Itachi woke up in the morning, he heard snoring. Coming from under his bed. Itachi looked, there was Bri sleeping under his bed the night that horrible song played. Itachi put two and two together and figured who was singing.

"Bri. Wake up."

Bri opened her eyes and the first thing she saw in the morning was the Sharingan.

Suddenly Bri was in a field with no grass. Only herself, Itachi, Deidara and Zetsu on the ground, and Itachi's swords. (Dang, he must really be ticked about the Barney song. O_O") Itachi was singing the song, stabbing either Deidara or Zetsu with each line.

"I love you." Stab. "You love me." Stab. "We're a happy family." Double stab. "With a great big hug." Stab. "And a kiss from me to you." Stab. "Won't you say you love me too?" Slice.

"DEIDARA! ZETSU!"

Deidara and Zetsu ran into Itachi's room. Itachi was standing before Bri, who was curled up in a little ball on the floor. Itachi walked right past them and mumbled "Good morning."

**...**

"HIDAN, YOU SON OF A B____, UN!" Deidara yelled as he ran out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel. Deidara's blue eye was scarier than a Sharingan in that moment. Because Hidan, absolute pain in the neck Hidan, replaced Deidara's shampoo with paint.

Deidara's usually golden colored hair was green. The nastiest shade of green you could imagine. Bri sensed Deidara's aura of menace and backed away.

"Dei... Deidara-sempai... calm down..." Bri said nervously.

"No, Hidan's going to pay, un."

"You mean we're allowed to mess up Hidan?"

The green-haired Deidara simply nodded.

Bri had on an evil smile. "Do you know how long I've been waiting for this?! WOOHOO!"

**...**

Hidan walked into his room. "WHAT THE F___?!"

Weapons. Axes, swords, kunai, shruiken, even Hidan's scythe came charging towards him. And since Hidan was the slowest person in Akatsuki, there was no way he could avoid what happened next.

Bri made the trap specifically to disembody Hidan. With the axes cutting off his arms, swords cutting off his legs, and the scythe to cut off his head. Yes, Bri is very sadistic when it comes to Hidan.

Hidan's head landed on the ground with a thud. He looked up to see Bri and an again blonde Deidara looking down at him.

"Hey, you mind getting me to Kakuzu?"

Bri grinned. "Sorry Hidan, we have different plans with you." Deidara picked Hidan up by his hair.

"Ow! What the f___, Deidara?!"

"People don't like it when you dye their hair green, un."

Bri and Deidara started walking with Hidan's helpless head.

"I-I was kidding about that! Can't you take a f___ing joke?"

"No, un."

Bri and Deidara were in the bathroom with Hidan. Deidara reached into the pouch where he kept his clay and pulled out a little clay ball. He threw it into the toilet and flushed. Then Bri happily took Hidan's head and dunked it.

"AWWW! THIS IS F___ING NASTY! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE PUTTING ME IN THIS S___HOLE!"

Deidara and Bri walked out of the bathroom. Bri closed the door as Deidara said, "Katsu, un."

_KABOOM! _There was a splash, then a _plop_, then a squish.

"EW! YOU TWO ARE F___ING DEAD! YOU HEAR ME?!"

**...**

"Now, it is time to unleash the ultimate prank."

The kitchen was a hazard. There was maple syrup all over the floor, syrup balloons over the door, and a pillow on the fan. Bri's entire team was sitting on the counter, waiting for someone from Suka's side to enter.

"This is gonna be great," Bri said as the door was opening. But instead of the enemy pranksters, it was _Pein_.

"LEADER! NOOOOO!" Everyone yelled.

Pein stopped, but then Konan bumped into him, causing both of them to go over the tripwire. Then it was raining syrup balloons, splattering Konan and Pein in sticky goo. When they tried to walk, they slipped on the syrup on the floor. Pein reached out to grab something, and grabbed the wire to turn on the fan.

BOOM! The pillow on the fan exploded, causing it to rain feathers. But the last part of the prank was yet to happen. A cabinet flew open, and a mini-catapult threw a perfectly whip-creamed banana-cream pie at Pein. _SPLAT!_

Only Zetsu had the guts to say anything. "Holy-" **"-S___."**

So there was Pein and Konan, covered in syrup, feathers, and banana-cream pie. And yet they were freaking scarier than Itachi's Sharingan first thing in the morning.

Suka's team walked into the kitchen, all of their mouths dropped. Prank war is _so _over.

"It's been nice knowing you guys..." Bri said as she looked into Pein's furious eyes. "Because we are _so _screwed."

**Well, heh, hoped you liked this chapter.**

**(Writes out my will and claims reviewers get my stash of cookies and potatoe chips if I die in the next chapter. O_O)**


	6. Tell me what you did

Everyone stood in a circle around Pein. Suka was fidgetting with her fingers and Bri was staring at the ground. Everyone had the same thought in mind, _We're so dead. We're so dead. We're so freaking dead._

Bri imagined how Pein would do this (In Chibi form because the real way would just scare me). He would stick out his fist in Bri's direction, he would use his "power" to make Bri fly face-first into the fist. Then die from the impact, with a little arrow pointing at her that says "pwned XP".

"Who started it?" Pein asked sternly.

"THEY DID IT!" Suka pointed at the Ponytail-Duo standing next to each other.

"All we did was blow up a cake, un," Deidara stated.

"Suka _officially_ started it when she glued my bed to the ceiling!"

"I didn't start it!"

"Shut up," Pein ordered. Both girls fell quiet. "Now, who was involved?" Everyone except for Pein and Konan raised their hands. "What did you all do?"

"Tobi wrote on Zetsu," said the masked man; who, by the looks of it, was looking down at the floor.

"I made Kakuzu believe I burned his money," Itachi said. "And punished Bri for her little... _joke_."

"I dyed blondie's hair green," Hidan said.

"I helped glue Bri's stuff to the ceiling," said Sasori.

"I only helped out in the last prank, Leader," Kakuzu said nervously.

"I stole Tobi's cookies," Kisame admitted proudly.

"YOU DID IT?!" Tobi pointed an accusing finger at Kisame. "BUT TOBI BEAT UP SASORI FOR THAT!!!"

"Quiet Tobi," Pein ordered.

"I glued Bri's stuff to the ceiling, and lead Team Hottie," Suka admitted. Pein raised an eyebrow at the name "Team Hottie."

"I was third-in-command of Bri's team. I helped her with the prank on Itachi," Zetsu said. This earned him a death-glare from Itachi. **"To be honest, Leader, it was actually fun."**

"I was second-in-command of Bri's team, un. I blew up the cake,un. I blew up the pillow, un. I blew up Hidan in the upstairs toilet, un." Deidara grinned as he said the last one and looked at Hidan. Hidan, if possible, made Itachi's death-glare at Zetsu seem weak.

"I lead one of the teams," Bri said. "I came up with my team's pranks ideas. I set up the trap in Hidan's room; I baked the exploding cake; I set up the trap you fell in; and sang the Barney theme song to Itachi all night." Now Itachi's death-glare matched up to Hidan's.

"Now, tell me why you all got involved in this stupid game," ordered Pein.

"She made me hug _Hidan_. Leader, I don't even want to be on the same _planet _with Hidan, and she dared me to _hug _him," Bri said coldly. "It could only mean revenge."

"She blew up a cake on me, Leader!" Suka shouted.

"I wanted to get back at the little b____," Hidan said while he pointed at Bri.

"She broke my arms, un," Deidara said as he pointed at Suka.

"Dei-kun, in two years from now, a lot of people will break your arms."

"Huh?" The blonde bomber looked as confused as Hidan did when Bri told him why she hates him. (Sorry Deidara-sempai, but it true!)

"Now," said Pein, "what to do as punishment. Bri and Suka in particular."

The girls gulped. The mini-Chibi punishment in Bri's head played again.

"You two can get the hell out of my organization." Konan held open the door for Bri and Suka. Pein stuck his hands out.

Before Pein could force them out the door, Bri blurted out, "Bye Deidara-sempai! Bye Sushi! Bye Zetsu! Bye Tobi! And, GOOD BYE HIDAN!" Bri flew out with a _whoosh!_

Suka looked around to all the men in Akatsuki she liked, and made the phone-hand thing. "Call me." _Whoosh!_


	7. Report

Tsunade looked down at her two genin spies on Akatsuki, surprisingly unharmed. She raised an eyebrow and asked, "You two managed to get yourselves kicked out from Akatsuki?" They nodded. "Honestly, why am I even surprised?"

"Because we managed to do it in a week," Bri said.

"Did you, at least, find out some information about them?"

"Tsunade! I'm hurt! We're not _that _bad as spies!"

"Well, go on, tell me."

Bri cleared her throat and reported. (Remember that I was very ticked off at Tsunade, so excuse me if the report is too long.) "The members are Sasori of the Red Sands, blah blah blah, Deidara of the Hidden Stone Village, blah blah blah, Kakuzu of the Waterfall Village, blah blah blah, Hidan of some-village-that-once-was-a-ninja-village-then-turned-into-a-tourist-trap, blah blah blah, Itachi from here, blah blah blah, Kisame of the Mist, blah blah blah, Zetsu and Tobi from I-don't-know-where, blah blah blah, and Pein and Konan from the Hidden Rain Village. Sasori uses puppets, yadda yadda, Deidara uses bombs, yadda yadda, Kakuzu uses some thread-thingy in his body, yadda yadda, Hidan is immortal and has a big scary scythe, yadda yadda, you know what Itachi can do, yadda yadda, Kisame does stuff with water, yadda yadda, I've never seen Zetsu fight, yadda yadda, Tobi's a fast runner, yadda yadda, I can't tell you what Pein and Konan do because then that'd spoil the mystery and I want to live to be fourteen."

Tsunade's eyebrow twitched. "Can you at least tell me what the look like, without the blahs?"

"Suka broke Sasori's disguise, so look for a young man with brown eyes and red hair. You might not want to bring Suka along because she thinks he's hot."

"Sasori-kun..." said Suka in her own little world.

"Deidara has blonde hair and a bang that covers up one eye. The eye everyone can see is blue."

"Such a beautiful colored blue..."

"Shut up, Suka! Blonde hair, blue eye. Has mouths in his hands. What's with the look, Tsunade? You know you've seen weirder. Oh, don't bring me along if you try to catch him."

"Why?" the Hokage asked.

"Just don't. Well, Kakuzu wears a mask but has strangely colored eyes. Kakashi must have described to you what Kisame and Itachi look like. You can't possibly miss Zetsu."

"Why?"

"Because he has a big venus flytrap thing on his head. And one side of his face is white while the other is black. Again with the look, Tsunade. You honestly act like you've never met Orochimaru. Tobi always wears an orange mask. Konan has blue hair and Pein has a million piercings and orange hair. There, I'm done."

"Bri, you forgot to describe me one. Hidan, was it? You have to tell me about him."

Bri closed her eyes and said stiffly, "Grey hair." Eye twitch. "Purple eyes." Eye twitch. "AND THE DIRTIEST FREAKING MOUTH IN THE WORLD!!!"

Suka tried to tape Bri's mouth shout as Bri yelled out muffled descriptions of Hidan. "She doesn't like talking about Hidan, Lady Tsunade!"

**...**

Shikamaru came to the door of the Hokage's office, hearing that Bri came back from a mission. When he heard a _thump _on the other side of the door, he walked in and saw a very strange sight.

Bri was knocked out on the floor with a bump on her head and tape over her mouth. Tsunade had her desk in her hand and was glaring down at Bri. Suka was actually sitting on Bri, so she wouldn't wake up and run.

"Shikamaru," Tsunade said calmly. "Go take Bri home. And bring Sandy Inuzuka here for her ridiculous mission."

**The end.**

**Hoped you liked it. Please review. And I'm sorry if I offended any Hidan fans in this story.**

**Suka: Yeah! You offend my beautiful dirty zombie! D:  
I mean... Hidan ^-^u**

**Suka... You only decided he was hot after I said I hated him. And no, he's not gonna call you.**

**Suka: But he has to, 'cause i don't broke his arms TwT**

**I told Deidara to blow up the phone if he tries.**

**Suka: I hate you so f***ing much, he's mine Bri*** ¬¬**

**You broke Deidara's arms.**

**Suka: ..., Well, I'll see you later Bri, i'm going to join Akatsuki again, bye! :D *runs away***

**I'll just tell Neji that he's gonna have to catch his girlfriend dead or alive. X3**

**Bye people. *waves***


	8. Aftermath

**...Two years later...**

Everyone in Akatsuki were in the kitchen, on the day Bri and Suka came to Akatsuki. Everyone who liked Suka had cookies on their plate, while everyone who liked Bri had banana-cream pie.

"Ow..."

"Your arms still hurt, Deidara?" Kakuzu asked.

"Yeah, un. Suka was right, both of those Jinchuriki broke my arms, un."

"But they didn't hurt _nearly _as much as Suka did, right?"

"Not even close, un."

Then Pein and Konan walked in, and their eyes twitched when they saw the four plates of banana-cream pie. Ever since Bri's ultimate prank, those two _hate _banana-cream pie. In fact, Bri and Suka are also the reasons why Sasori "upgraded" that puppet he traveled around in, the reason why Hidan got rid of all the extra weapons in the base, and why Sasori hates cookies.

"Is it that time of year again?" Pein asked as he took a step away from Deidara's pie.

"Yeah, un. It's the Girls' Appreciation day again, un."

"And _why _must you eat that monstrosity you call a pie?"

"It reminds us of the good times we had with Bri," Kisame said as he took another bite of pie.

"Can't you eat the cookies like everyone else?" Konan asked.

"No!" Tobi said. "Because only Suka-chan made Tobi cookies!"

"Remember when I pretended to be Sasori and stole your cookies?"

"Yeah! Tobi was really mad at Sasori-san! Remember when Tobi wrote on Zetsu-san?"

Black-Zetsu's eye twitched. "Remember when I helped Bri pull that prank on Itachi?"

"_I love you, un. You love me, un. We're a happy family, un._" Itachi glared at the grinning Deidara.

"Remember when I dyed Blondie's hair green?" Almost everyone laughed. "Man, you were so f___ing pissed off!"

"I still am, un." Deidara picked up Kakuzu's piece of pie and smashed it into Hidan's face. (WOOT! Go Sempai!)

"Oh, so you want to play that s___?" Hidan took Zetsu's piece of pie and squished it into Deidara's hair. (Oh no he didn't!)

**"Hey! That was _my _pie!"**

Zetsu went to the fridge and took the mountain of pie that was in there.

"PIE FIGHT, UN!"

So almost everyone in the evil organization was trying to hit each other with banana-cream pies. Pein and Konan just stood there. Then...

_SPLAT!_

Pein, once again, was covered in banana-cream pie. And once again, he was scarier than the Sharingan first thing in the morning.

"_Who threw the pie?!_"

Everyone was pointing at each other. "HE DID IT!!!"

**_Now _it's the end.**

**Haha. XP**

**Please note that this is the last thing I write before school starts.**

**Savor the moment reading this.**

**Review!!!  
**


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